You’d pretty much have to be blind, deaf, and clueless to miss the ferocity of the mommy wars. Both sides are equally at fault, and the fights are mean, nasty, and frankly needless and pointless. They are also heartbreaking to hear. Frankly, what’s to gain from them?
Let’s be honest here- each of us makes the decisions that are best for our families. Women are not “giving up”, “wasting their educations”, or doing something crazy if they decide that staying in the work force is not for them after having children. Women who continue to work after having children, are not “letting someone else raise their children” either. This knife slices both ways.
The way I see it is this: everyone makes their own decisions. Those decisions are very personal, and are not a one-size-fits-all kind of decision. I’ve noticed that we women are much harder on ourselves and on each other than men could ever be. Witness the comments being made about Melissa Mayer and Sheryl Sandberg. No one would bat an eyelash if they were men who had children, and a life of their own. Somehow it becomes an object of concern, ridicule, and endless commentary, simply because they are female.
We need to get over this obsession in our culture, and learn to live, and let live. Accept that others may make decisions in their lives that are right for them, but may not be right for someone else. I’m absolutely certain that many people consider me to be crazy for continuing to work with four kids, and girl scout troops, and everything else I have going on. My only response, is that my path is what is right for me, and my family. Your family dynamics, and your own personality are likely quite different which mean that your decisions will likely be correspondingly different.
Can we please get over the mommy wars, and quit throwing one another under a bus?