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Some Things Are Best Left Unsaid

In PeruSomewhere along the way, my life got a little bit hectic.  With four kids, a job, Girl Scouts, Cub Scouts, and being responsible for my parents while getting my MBA, life has been very full.  It has also meant that at times I’ve gotten some spectacularly stupid comments from people.  I’m never really sure how to respond to these asinine comments, other than to say “Thank You”, and leave it at that. These comments are great fun, whether I’m at work, or about the town, but they seem to crop up everywhere. I thought I’d include a list of things that perhaps are best left unsaid, and include a view into what my mind is thinking when I hear some of these comments.

Here’s my List of  6 Things That are Best Left Unsaid

  1. “I don’t know how you do it”. I usually just smile, and grit my teeth.  I’m sure it’s not intended as an insult, but there really isn’t anything I can say without seeming like a real witch.  The truth is, I do “it” because the alternative is curling up in a ball in the corner of the room, and that just isn’t my style.  
  2. “You have your hands full”.  This comment is usually made in reference to the number of kids I have.  Yes.  I do have my hands and heart full, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
  3. “Don’t you know what causes that?”  This one is particularly dangerous, because I’ve heard it enough times, that I’m likely to answer something along the lines of “Yes, and it’s an awful lot of fun.”
  4. “When are you going to stop having children?”  This is another one of those, none of your business, and godawful rude comments that there really is no good answer to.  I will usually grit my teeth, and smile.  Occasionally, I’ve been known to answer with “When I get an ugly one”.
  5. “Why do you continue to work since your husband has such a great job?”  There is no graceful way to answer this question.  I just smile, and nod. If I’m in a particularly sarcastic frame of mind at the time, I’ll answer something along the lines of “Well, the husband doesn’t make enough to keep me in the style to which I’d like to become accustomed”.  Really, it’s no-one else’s business.
  6. My husband’s favorite while I was getting my MBA is what I planned to do with the degree, or what I was going to do with the degree.   His usual response was that he was hoping that I’d be making enough money afterwards to keep him in the style to which he would like to become accustomed.

I hope to educate people enough so that they just don’t go there.  I get that sometimes people don’t know what to say, but opening their mouths, and inserting their feet is not a good look.

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2 comments

  1. Lori

    I have two least favorite comments. The first is from my mother and it is, ‘Oh Lori, why?” and is usually uttered after I’ve told her how lucky I am to be able to go on vacation to some nice place, or when I’ve decided to try something, anything, new. She’s 91. She worries about me. She’s not adventurous in any sense of the word and I love her. So my polite response is usually “well why not?”

    The second is a bit more tricky and you might think I’m annoying just for mentioning it. It, in fact, might be best left unsaid. But it is said to me and the feelings that come with it aren’t good. Much of my adult life women have said, sometimes in a somewhat snotty, nasal voice (or maybe I just imagine that part) “oh you’re so skinny!” This is sometimes followed by “must be nice.” Um, thank you?

    Yes, I’m skinny. I have bird bones, good genes, and a healthy lifestyle. I try to eat real food and to get some sort of exercise each week, no matter how busy I am. It’s not always easy but I believe in being good to your body. I’m not on a ‘diet’. I just don’t want to put bad things in my body. Now dark chocolate, wine, ice cream… those things are different story. 🙂 But what hits when these seemingly complimentary words are said, is that they aren’t meant to be a compliment at all. So ‘thank you’ doesn’t seem quite right. I sure do appreciate those ‘atta girl’s when they come though. Thanks!

  2. Jennifer

    I usually respond to those “how do you do it” with one of 2 phrases, depending on my mood. I’ll either smile like I’ve got a secret and say simply “Magic,” or I’ll puff up my chest and tell them that I’m She-Ra, Princess of Power. Either way, I know I juggle a lot, and sometimes I don’t do it well…but shut up about it.

    And my recent “favorite” can set me into a fit of homicidal rage on the inside: “I can’t keep up with all your names” or “HOW many times have you been married?” You think *I* am thrilled with the GINORMOUS mistake I made? I’d rather just pretend it didn’t happen, so don’t remind me about that dark place in my life or I’m liable to punch you in the throat.

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