One of the comments I hear from women over and over again who don’t work outside the home is that they are “just a mom”. Please, let me be clear, you aren’t “just a mom”. You are serving an integral role in society raising your children, volunteering at their schools and at your church, and being a part of society. It almost feels like beating someone into the ground when you talk to someone who is a stay at home mom, and they say that they are “just a mom”. Let’s talk about what “just a mom” does:
“Just a Mom”?
- Budgeting – Managing the financial balance between all of the kids’ extracurricular activities, and the needs of the household, including groceries, home repair, and wardrobes for those ever-growing kids.
- Taxi driving- You probably put gazillions of miles on your car, driving those kids back and forth to school, doctor’s appointments, and activities. This can likely take hours each day.
- Managing Complex Schedules – I don’t know about your house, but some days require a degree in logistics between drop-offs and pick ups. Chances are, if you’re “just a mom” you don’t have someone who helps you do this like I do.
- Managing a house, keeping it clean, laundry done, meals cooked, and food in the pantry- Let’s be honest. Laundry for a family of 4, 5, or 6 can take a couple of hours a day. Never mind folding, and putting it away. Cooking meals, keeping kids fed, and keeping a house clean also all take time. Most of my friends who are stay at home moms don’t have additional help with their household chores.
- Volunteer in the community – Most moms I know, volunteer quite a bit in the community. Maybe not all, but if you factor in how much time their other activities take, and add in the hours of being a classroom parent, reader in the classroom, or volunteer at church, many times it is nearly a full time job in itself.
I think that it’s important to have respect for everyone, and appreciate that we all come to the table with different abilities. Dads, and men- this goes for you too. Just because someone has opted to leave the workforce to stay home with their children does not make them less of a person. Please don’t assume that when you meet me that since I do a gazillion, bazillion other things that I’m going to look down on you for choosing a different path. We’re all wired differently, and that’s part of what is so much fun in life- being different!
What do you think? Can we be at peace with one another, and quit making negative comments about people who make different decisions?