The judgement on both sides of the mommy wars is quite simply staggering. I wish both sides would stop and think before they say things that come across as insensitive and judgmental. One of my least favorite comments is “I’m raising my own children”, or “I don’t want my children raised by someone else”. Let me assure you that just because my child has a nanny or goes to daycare does not mean that I somehow stop being a mom when I leave my kids and head to work. I don’t somehow pull a Clark Kent and become some other superhero. I am still a mother when my children are with someone else. It is frankly hurtful to think otherwise. I love my children deeply. Frankly most mothers do. Try calling me at work with a kid emergency, and see how fast I react. Okay. On second thought, maybe don’t do that. I don’t need the heartburn. But My point is that I would respond very quickly and decisively.
We as mothers want what is best for our families. That’s natural. What’s not natural is being a bitch to someone else who makes a different decision. There’s really no reason for it. The decisions that someone else makes do not mean that yours are any less good. It means that their decisions are for their family, and yours are for your own. End of story.
At the end of the day, the goal is to raise productive, useful members of society, that are hopefully well balanced, and happy as well. There are so many ways to get to that end goal. All of them work. It takes a village to raise a child. It takes parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, neighbors, coaches, teachers, Girl Scout Leaders, Preachers, Pastors, and more to raise a child to adulthood. Some play a bigger influence. My children have never mistaken anyone else for their mother. Even as my youngest called several adult women in his life “mama”, he preferred to be with me, and cuddle with me, given the opportunity. He still knew I was his mother. And he knew my husband was his father. He just had more people in his life to love him, and cuddle him and squeeze him.
At the end of the day, it doesn’t hurt a kid to have more love and care in their life. And yes. Even though I work outside the home, I’m still raising my own children.
