One of the big scams running rampant in the online business world involves so-called coaches who walk people through selling their assets so they can afford to pay them.
People pull out their credit cards, ready and willing to buy a dream. It’s like a drug. They figure that if they just hire the right coach, they’ll finally get the results the last three didn’t produce. And they put their financial futures at stake for programmes that can run from tens to hundreds of thousands of dollars.
I know this isn’t a popular thing to write, particularly coming from someone who has done coaching work. But I’ve heard too many of these stories, and they break my heart.
How the pitch actually works
It’s worth knowing the mechanics, because they’re consistent and recognising them is most of the protection.
The investment reframe. This isn’t spending, it’s investing in yourself. Which converts an expense into a virtue and makes hesitation look like low self-belief rather than sensible caution.
Commitment as evidence. “The people who get results are the ones willing to go all in.” Now the size of the payment is proof of seriousness, and asking whether you can afford it means you aren’t serious.
Solving the affordability objection for you. This is the specific tactic that makes it predatory rather than merely expensive. Put it on the credit card. Take the equity. Borrow from family. A legitimate seller hears “I can’t afford that” and accepts it. A predatory one treats it as an obstacle to route around.
Manufactured urgency. The price rises tonight, there are two places left, the cohort closes Friday. Deadlines exist to prevent you from thinking, sleeping on it, or asking someone else.
And price anchoring. Starting at $50,000 so that $18,000 feels like relief. You were never going to be offered the first number.
The mindset trap
This one deserves separate treatment, because it’s clever and it’s doing more damage than the rest.
If you’re told that your results depend primarily on your mindset, then a programme that doesn’t work for you cannot be the programme’s fault. You didn’t believe enough, didn’t show up fully, held onto a limiting belief.
It’s unfalsifiable. The method can never fail, it can only be failed — which protects the seller absolutely and leaves the buyer with the bill and a fresh reason to feel inadequate.
Mindset is real and it matters. But a business that isn’t working usually has a business problem: the pricing is wrong, the offer doesn’t fit the market, there aren’t enough conversations happening. Those have diagnosable causes and fixable solutions, and no amount of belief substitutes for finding them.
The test
One question, asked honestly, before any significant spend on coaching, a course or a programme:
If this produces nothing at all, am I still fine?
Not “will it work.” You can’t know that. Whether the downside is survivable.
If the answer involves your home, your emergency fund, debt you don’t currently have, or money you need for something else — that’s not a hard decision, it’s an obvious no. The expected return doesn’t matter, because a bet you can’t afford to lose is a bad bet regardless of the odds.
And if anyone responds to that reasoning by questioning your commitment, you’ve learned everything you need to know about who you’re dealing with.
What good looks like
None of this is an argument against paying for help. Good coaching and consulting exist at every price point and can genuinely change a business. The difference is visible if you look.
- A defined scope. What they’ll do, how often, for how long, and what you’ll have at the end. Not “transformation” — deliverables.
- References you can actually call. Not testimonials on a page. Names of people with businesses like yours who will take your call.
- Relevant experience. Someone who has run a business resembling yours, or who has worked with several. Beware people whose only demonstrated success is selling coaching.
- No pressure at all. A good adviser is content for you to think about it, compare, and come back. They’re not worried about losing you, because they aren’t relying on your momentary emotional state.
- And a price you’d be comfortable saying out loud to someone who cares about you. That test is remarkably effective.
The part nobody wants to hear
Coaches aren’t magic makers. We’re advisors and consultants with some experience, and what we can do is suggest changes that help — but only if you then do the work.
That’s the real kicker, and it’s why the expensive programmes so often disappoint. The buying is the exciting part. The implementation is months of unglamorous effort that nobody can do for you, and it’s the only part that produces anything.
Which is also why spending more rarely helps. A $30,000 programme you don’t implement produces exactly the same result as a $300 one you don’t implement, at a hundred times the cost.
If you’re feeling pressured in a way that feels intimidating, cut the cord. Run in the opposite direction. Seek legal advice if you need it.
But don’t risk your home for any coach. Not mine, not anyone’s.
More on mindset and actual problem-solving and why more courses usually aren’t the answer.
About the author
Haley Lynn Gray is the founder of Leadership Girl, of In2itive Biz Solutions, and of the Women’s Entrepreneur Network — a community of more than 77,000 women in business.
She writes here about what happens when running a business starts demanding that you lead one. More about Haley →
