Trust- It’s a Fragile Thing

June 12, 2013

One of my children is getting a lesson in trust this week, but really I think that this applies to so many things in life.  Trust is easy to gain, but almost impossible to regain once lost.  I know that I have the tendency to want to trust people and believe in them.  When someone lies to me, that trust is irrevocably shattered.  Lies come in different shapes, sizes, and formats, but at the end of the day, their effect is similar- trust is gone.

I will also add, that lies by omission are still lies.  In our house, that’s been the favored format.  One of my children has decided that they will only tell me the good stuff, but never any of the bad stuff.  And they also conveniently forget to mention when they haven’t done something they should have.  In this case, they forgot to mention that they had failed a critical planning piece on a project.  Let’s be honest.  Those critical pieces- they don’t go away, no matter how much you wish they would.  You’re not going to escape them.  But that lie will keep coming up over and over again.

So- to my child- learn to say when you don’t know how to do something.  It will be much easier to stop and explain the piece you understand, than to come back and have to punish you for violating my trust and then figure out what you don’t understand, and address it later.  For that matter- that applies to life as well.  Own your shortcomings, and figure out when you don’t understand.  Ask Questions.  Make sure you understand before proceeding.  It’s a lesson that is generally applicable.

Remember that once trust is broken, it can’t just be super glued back into place.  The cracks will remain in the glass forever, no matter how you try to patch them up.  It’s best to not have those cracks to start with.

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