~by Haley Lynn Gray~
I’ve been genuinely surprised by some of the behaviour I’ve seen from employees over the years: tattling on one another, whining, and on one occasion a full screaming match.
It isn’t how successful businesses operate, and most of it comes from people who were never told what the standard is. So here it is.
1. Take the problem to the person, not around them
If you have an issue with a colleague, speak to the colleague. Going to their manager first — or to everyone except them — converts a small problem into a political one.
Escalate if it doesn’t get resolved. Just not as step one.
2. Bring problems with a proposal
“This isn’t working” is a complaint. “This isn’t working, and I’d suggest we try X” is a contribution.
The information is identical; how it lands is entirely different, and the difference compounds over a career.
3. Keep your voice down and your temper in the car
Nobody has ever won an argument at volume. Everyone within earshot remembers who shouted, and nobody remembers who was right.
If you’re too angry to speak calmly, say you’ll come back to it. That’s not weakness, it’s judgement.
4. Do what you said you’d do
And say so early when you can’t. A yes that doesn’t happen is worse than a no.
5. Praise publicly, criticise privately
Applies to colleagues as much as to managers. Correcting someone in front of others costs you far more standing than it costs them.
6. Don’t discuss people who aren’t in the room
Whoever hears it works out that they’re next. Gossip is the cheapest way to lose the trust of everyone who witnesses it.
7. Own it when you’re wrong
Quickly, plainly, without a defence attached. A fast unqualified apology repairs most of the damage; an explanation of what you meant repairs none.
If you’re the owner, this is on you
Most unprofessional behaviour persists because it’s been tolerated. People learn what’s acceptable from what happens, not from a handbook.
Say what the standard is, early and specifically. Then apply it consistently — including to your best performer, because nothing demoralises a team faster than watching someone exempt.
And model it. A screaming match rarely starts in a business where the owner has never raised their voice.
