One of the recurring themes in my life is people telling me things aren’t possible. Of course, I then take that as a challenge, and set out to do that very thing. Frequently, I’m called crazy, or nuts, or something along those lines. Occasionally, I get accused of cheating, or having an unfair advantage. Sometimes it’s amusing, and other times, it’s downright irritating. I am well aware that my life doesn’t tend to stay neatly within the lines. After all, no “sane” person would have four kids, work full time, get an MBA from Duke, take care of their parents, lead three Girl Scout troops, and on and on. The reality is that it is all possible. And it is the reality of my life. Don’t tell me that it’s impossible, just because you can’t imagine doing something.
The same should be true for you. Do what you want with your life, the way you want to do it, and don’t listen to other people telling you how things “should” be. Or what you “should” be doing. At least from a lifestyle perspective, and career choices. After all, those are your own. Don’t accept “no” for an answer if something really is what you want to achieve.
If what you want isn’t illegal, immoral, evil, cruel, and doesn’t impact how others live their lives, they get no say in what you are doing. Do things your way, and at your own speed. Accept that different people have different perceptions of reality and time, and how they all go together. It’s a good thing to wish for impossible things, especially good impossible things, and to reach for the stars. You never know what you can do, if you don’t at least reach out and try for them. Accept that you may have to be somewhat flexible in how you get to your destination, and you may have to be very creative in how you live your life.
The part nobody mentions: it takes infrastructure
One example of this for me is that I have an au pair even though my children are all school age. The reason is that I frankly need the extra set of hands to help me keep the kids going back and forth to activities, because each kid has their own set of activities. Some of them do more extra-curricular activities than others, and being able to concentrate on work until dinner time has been a huge time saver for me. I also know that I can focus on working later in the evening, once the kids are in bed. It’s just what has to happen to keep my life in balance and moving forward. I’m creative at how I live, so that I can live an otherwise impossible lifestyle.
That is worth saying out loud, because “impossible” lives are rarely powered by willpower. They are powered by arrangements. Help that costs money. Boundaries other people find rude. Decisions to do some things badly on purpose. When someone appears to be doing the impossible, there is almost always a structure underneath it that they didn’t mention — and the useful question isn’t how do they manage, it’s what have they arranged.
The same is true in a business. Founders who seem to handle more than everyone else have usually built something that handles it for them.
What about you? What things have you done that others said were impossible? I know I’m not super woman – not even close, yet sometimes I get to feel that way when I’m told how impossible things I do are!
