~by Haley Lynn Gray~
Every year, we took turns standing outside with our daughters, selling Girl Scout Cookies. The girls learned a great many lessons at those booths. One of the biggest was about generosity.
Over and over, they discovered that the people who seemed to have the least to give were often the most generous.
What we saw
So many times, someone would stop, ask about the cookies, and then go and get cash — from their car, from a cash machine, from the bottom of a bag. You could tell it was a stretch for them.
And they were so generous. They’d buy a box, and then leave a donation on top. A teenager would drop five dollars in the jar and walk away with nothing. People who clearly didn’t have much to spare would give anyway, and seem glad to.
It happened often enough that my girls came to expect it — and it changed how they thought about generosity.
It isn’t just our experience
Researchers have found the same thing. In a 2010 study, psychologists at the University of California, Berkeley and the University of Toronto — including Paul Piff and Dacher Keltner — found that people with fewer resources were, on average, more generous and more helpful to others than people with more.
Their explanation is thought-provoking. People with less often depend more on each other, so they tend to be more attuned to other people’s needs. Having more can make it easier to feel you don’t need anyone.
It’s a reminder not to judge anyone’s generosity by what they seem to have.
What it means for leaders
This stayed with me, because it applies well beyond a cookie booth.
Generosity isn’t about how much you have. Plenty of leaders wait until they’re “successful enough” to help others. The people at our booth didn’t wait. They gave what they could, when they could.
Small acts matter enormously. Five dollars from a stranger meant a great deal to a little girl standing in the cold. A few minutes of your time, an introduction, a word of encouragement — these cost little and can mean a lot.
Don’t assume who will help. Our assumptions about people are frequently wrong. The support you need may come from the least expected place.
Remember where you started. Research suggests power and plenty can make people less attentive to others. The more successful you become, the more deliberately you have to stay generous.
What my daughters took away
They learned to ask everyone, and to be grateful to everyone. They learned that kindness often comes from people who are struggling themselves. And they learned that being generous doesn’t require being rich.
Those are lessons I’m glad they learned early. I’m still learning them myself.
